I know you never
ever dreamed that
you would have to
bury me in the cold
ground that day.
you remember
counting each
finger and toe
and holding me
close to your heart
and watching me grow
and letting go seemed
more than you could bear.
and Mother's Day hurts.
it's alright, mommy.
Jesus was holding me
the whole time and
He carried me to the light
so bright and warm and
more beautiful than any
thing I have ever seen.
and He holds me and sings
to me and I sing to Him
and we run and play tag
and mommy, I'm in a place
you can't even imagine!
I am living and
laughing and
dancing and
singing
just like I did with you,
and the day will come
when we will be together again!
I love you, mommy.
you were so happy.
I could hear you talking
and singing all the time.
I could hear you praying
over me.
and when you were quiet,
the beating of your heart
reassured me that
all was well.
then that day
came.
mommy,
I saw Jesus.
and I still do.
He held me close
as the darkness I was
so used to turned to bright
and shiny and beautiful light.
mommy, it's okay.
Jesus was drying your tears
while He was holding me.
He understands that
your heart hurt.
and still does.
and Mother's Day hurts.
I know that one day
you will meet me here.
you will hug me and
kiss me and laugh
and dance with me.
I love you, mommy.
you knew about me.
you were excited even
though I was too little
to see.
my heart was
beating, mommy,
just like yours.
you tried so hard
to keep me from
coming out before
I was able to live
outside of you.
it's alright, mommy.
it isn't your fault.
Jesus carried me in
His arms, mommy.
I'm not scared or
lonely or sad.
I love looking into
His eyes when He's
smiling at me.
it makes my heart happy.
and I know, mommy, that
one day you will get to
hold me and kiss me.
and I will get to look
into your eyes while
you smile at me.
I love you, mommy.
who wants to be a mommy.
you want to have a little one
like me to call your own.
Jesus knows.
Jesus understands.
He already knows
what I will look like!
He has every day
all planned out
because He loves you
as much as He loves me.
and just think, mommy to be,
maybe I will be born
to a mommy who
knows deep in her
heart that although
she will help me be born,
she will lay me in your arms
to hug and kiss and love and
call your own.
Everyday of my life was recorded in
Your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed."
Psalm 139:16
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