the questions I hear
the questions every heart hears
the questions easy to escape from with a life of
noise to drown out
work to give identity
pleasures to numb
addictions to distract
"will you be content...
will you be satisfied...
will I still be enough...
if I bless you with no more
than that which already given?
will you raise your hands empty
toward the sky in worship
if tomorrow you wake to find life different?
My child,
what is it that you consider a blessing?
oh many times I bless in the material realm
I bless financially
I bless with jobs
with homes
with bigger homes
with bedrooms enough for all
with cars new and shiny
with clothes to spare
with food plentiful
with freedom to openly raise hands empty
in worship
these truly are blessings from My hand
and nothing wrong with
these blessings...
in fact much is right...
for the greater the blessing
the greater the responsibility
yet what then would you say to the unemployed?
to the homeless?
to the one walking?
to the one with only the clothes
on his back?
to the hungry child
or adult?
to the 21 brave souls
and countless more who die
simply because
My name was on their lips?
that somehow they are unblessed?
no, My child, a thousand times no
blessings from My hand
can in no way be described or comprehended in full
for one cannot describe or comprehend that which is indescribable or incomprehensible...
blessings abound in the profound of the everyday...
sun rising
sun setting
heart beating
lungs breathing
clouds floating
sun's rays warm
silky soft of newborn skin
ceaseless motion of waves
grains of sand to numerous to count
santa ana winds powerful
snowflakes gentle falling
snow untouched pure
giggles of little ones dancing with joy unfiltered
hearts created to worship and adore
My blessings
My love
are
hope-filled as rainbow stretching from earth to heaven to earth
surprising as blossoms in desert sand
protective as a momma's love
always forgiving
always gracious
always merciful
hear Me well, My child...
you are blessed not by what you have
you are blessed not by what you do
you are blessed because of who you are
and whose you are
you are mine forever
and I will always be enough
a heart can be satisfied only if overflowing with
My presence
for then and then only will
My peace
My love
My joy
result
that heart content
will cast a glow radiant
spilling over
piercing the darkness
I love you."
"All night long I search for You;
in the morning I earnestly seek for
God."
Isaiah 26:9a
when all is still
when the heart is hushed
the mind often races
dark becomes darker
as fear overwhelms
as worry makes the heart pound
and the hush is no more
I know this fear all too well
oh so easily I fall into trusting my own heart
figure it all out...make the puzzle piece fit in that spot...
instead of turning to the One who created
each piece with such a tender touch
He sees the finished masterpiece...
me. you. all.
so when all is not still
when the hush is deafening
when the dark is blackest
then I will search
then I will seek
and He will hold
"You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in You,
all whose thoughts are fixed on You!"
Isaiah 26:3
so when the prayer
you hadn't even dared pray
is answered...
the dream you pushed out of your mind
because it just isn't possible...
the hope buried deep
because hoping won't make it happen
Jesus looked intently at them and said,
"Humanly speaking, it is impossible,
but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
in all reality this answered prayer
although so incredible
pales in comparison to the answered prayer
of a month ago
that prayer spoken
wept over
carried in many hearts
for over three years
He answered
with no help from me
(as if He needed it anyway)
when I least expected the answer
He answered
when I didn't even dare pray
He answered
this is my God...
blessings fall like the rain
always
sometimes the blessings come in tears
that mingle with the rain
sometimes the blessings
appear to be unblessings for a time
yet
in His way
in His time
He will make all things
beautiful
as lovingly He
pulls my heart
closer to His
own heart
now to Him who is able to do
immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine
according to His power that is within us
to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations
forever and ever amen
Ephesians 3:20-21
is it possible for a heart to
be grateful
yet
ungrateful
at the same time?
for the heart to rejoice
at the blessings
yet try to help the Giver give?
and if that be the case
is the receiving heart
really grateful at all?
and what about pride?
if the heart were to feel that
somehow the blessings were deserved
were they really deserved?
in all reality no blessing is deserved
for nothing I do or don't do
could alter or impact
the simple fact
that on my own
I deserve nothing
but
oh how He gives!
oh He how blesses!
it's just that my worthiness
or lack thereof
is in no way tied to
any blessing He gives
for that worth is found in
Jesus alone...
and through Jesus
Abba sees me as beautifully worthy of
His love...
so worthy that He calls me His child
a bird tiny singing
in a tree so close
was just one melodic line
in His symphony so sweet
that He wanted my
heart to hear...
"My child,
listen to music surrounding you
the fountain
the stream
the bird
are all playing the part in My symphony
written specifically for them
from before time
all creation takes part in the
symphony of life composed by My hand
the simple melodies you heard
blended together
creating harmonies exquisite
the breeze joined in singing
the laughter of little one so excited
added a splash of color joyful
not one of them was worrying about
wrong notes
wrong rhythms
wrong dynamics
no, My child
they simply sang and played
if I care enough about that bird so tiny
to have every note written
which it will sing in its life complete
how much more will I
not invest in every note of
your life song?
you worry that you will
play in the wrong key
sing out of tune
speed up when you should slow down
slow down when you should speed up
you worry that your part will not blend
that perhaps your part even lacks significance
quiet your heart long to hear My whisper...
all I ask of you is to sing
to play the part I have given
to you alone...
a line without which
My masterpiece would be incomplete
every member of My orchestra
from grains of sand hugging coastlines
to waves crashing
to stars numbered and named by Me
to each heart ever beating
each one is part of
My symphony of life
My symphony of love
so place the gift I give back in My hands
know that My timing is perfect
that no matter what
I am enough."
