three years.
Autumn's life song
sang with you for three years.
three short years.
three precious years.
and now Autumn has been
singing with Jesus
for three years.
three long years
for all who loved
Autumn...
her mommy and daddy,
her sister and brother,
her grandpas and
grandmas,
her uncles and aunts,
her cousins,
her friends,
and all who were blessed
by a vibrant little girl
who loved to smile and hug
and who loved everything purple
and who loved Jesus.
and hearts still ache.
and tears
still
fall.
because it still hurts.
grief knows no timelines.
grief knows no deadlines.
it. simply. is.
it is a journey which
often feels like a maze
or labyrinth.
and the heart
so broken can
feel as if there is
no destination.
like a chord suspended
which refuses to resolve.
and if given the choice,
Autumn's life song would still
be singing here on earth.
yet in a very real sense,
her life song is still singing
here on earth for
you. are. her. voice.
Jen and Phil,
through God's strength,
you have given hope
where hope seems absent.
you have given a safe place
for those most vulnerable.
you have spread love
through Autumn's
precious
life
song
literally
around the world.
and as voices join
in Autumn's song,
her one melodic line
bursts into harmonies only
heaven could create!
notes soar into the sky
and grace notes sparkle
like a dew-kissed flower.
notes still rain down as
tears fall, for you
long to hold her
in your arms.
as her life song
continues to sing,
God will use that
one small voice to
bless
countless
life songs,
and perhaps
even be a part
of giving a little one
who has had their song
silenced by
fear of abuse
the courage to sing again.
and Autumn dances
and celebrates
with Jesus
as her life song
sings
on.
obsessed:
preoccupy.
fill the mind completely.
so much lies around
so much lives within
over which to be obsessed.
so easy to fall into
preoccupation with
all that is wrong.
all that is broken.
all that is fear filled.
all that is out of one's
control anyway.
without even trying,
the mind can be filled
completely with worry
and doubt
and fear.
and I am guilty.
what if?
what if when
worry and doubt and fear
begin to consume,
what if instead I would
choose to be obsessed
with my Abba?
with who He is?
with His nature?
what. would. happen?
any thoughts of worry
doubt
fear
would not
stand a chance,
"because the Spirit
who lives in you is greater
than the spirit who lives in
the world." I John 4:4
I want to see His smile
and feel His delight
when He looks at me.
I want to spend time
simply sitting in
His
presence.
worshiping at His throne.
conversing with Him.
coming to know Him in
deeper
intimacy,
for after all,
He is my heavenly Papa.
I want to be obsessed
with Him,
for out of that
beautiful obsession
the essence
the fragrance
of His love and
compassion and
tenderness and
forgiveness and
mercy and grace
upon grace
will flow. 
so that did not
end as you had hoped
the outcome perhaps not
only different but opposite
of what you had planned
or dreamed
or wanted
perhaps the paradigm shifted
so completely that time for
you will forever be marked as
before
and
after
and search as hard as you might
a purpose...any purpose at all
seems impossible to find
and He whispers
"My beloved child
from before time began
I knew
from before the morning stars
were taught to sing
from before the first dawn
of creation
and first breath
of life
I knew
and I know
throughout time
I have been weaving
the threads of your life
and every life
into the tapestry designed
by My hand
in your humanness
so human you are
simply unable
to see what I see
to know what I know
every event
every circumstance
every storm
every tragedy
every tear
every cry
is delicately held
in My hand so pierced
and intertwined in the
symphony of life
to bring joy from sorrow,
hope from despair,
beauty from ashes
even that which appears
to have no purpose
has purpose
even that meant for evil
I will use for good
and hearts will
be brought
home
to Me"
"His purpose was for the nations to
seek after God
and perhaps feel
their way toward Him
and find Him ~ though
He is
not far
from any one of us.
For in Him we
live
and
move
and
exist."
Acts 17:27-28
one sparrow.
one sparrow
on planet earth.
one sparrow falls to the ground.
He sees.
He cares.
little hands search.
little hands dig on
a playground.
looking for treasures
to bring to a
teacher who
cares.
who rejoices
with the one
finding treasures,
for she knows it isn't
really about the treasure.
He sees.
He cares.
just for a moment allow the
eyes of your heart to picture
what is perhaps unpicturable.
I know. try anyway.
in my eye's mind
I. see. Jesus.
I see Jesus picking up
the sparrow so broken.
I see Abba gently taking
that sparrow now lifeless
into His hands.
the nail-pierced ones.
the ones with billions upon
billions of names engraved
on them.
and His tears fall.
and now I see the
little hands clasping
a treasure of sticks
of leaves
of things
no one else
even noticed.
and oh so gently
Jesus picks up that
child with heart broken
and tenderly embraces.
Abba wraps them with
love as warm as a blanket
kissed with sun's rays.
and the Spirit encircles
in colors iridescent.
we each have our own
broken sparrows and
broken treasures and
broken hearts.
He sees.
He cares.
perhaps a child lost a parent.
perhaps a parent lost a child.
perhaps a child clings to rubble
as bombs rain down all around.
perhaps a child is waiting for
a bite of food. just. one. bite.
perhaps a job lost.
a relationship broken.
disease ravaging
a body.
a family fleeing
from war only to
find rooms at the
Inn
are
full.
doors slammed shut.
perhaps behind bars
a head is bowed in despair.
"surely He cannot love me."
oh but He can and He does.
He sees.
He cares.
He knows.
after all, the Composer
of every life song,
of every love story,
wrote Himself into
the composition.
and among the
very first notes
was an Inn with
no
room.
He, the ultimate treasure,
was despised and rejected.
He gave for us what no one
but Himself could give: His life.
all because He loves the little sparrow
and loves every heart that ever
did beat. is beating. will beat.
